Sometimes things just don’t workout… and that’s ok.
Right??
Who knows it is for Good or Bad?
I recently joined my new job which I always wanted to have.I was excited at the prospect of creating something new and had been quiet confident that I would be great in the role.After a few days, I felt my stomach knot up with self – doubt, distrust and uncertainty in my head.
First I was disappointed, and then I was angry with myself.
Some days were like never-ending defeat. I anticipated for sunsets and day to end quickly for me.I always wanted to see a bright shiny morning, unlike the gloomy day I had experienced. This whole process was asking me many questions rapidly, throughout the day. Slowly gradually I was developing a fear of not being good enough which led to having a feeling to be called ‘Naakra ‘.
During the whole process, I was very much in touch with my family. I have a bad habit of telling them everything and they give me solutions followed by the silly judgement they pass about me later on. But I think that can be dealt.
Coming on the question! I wanted to figure out everything for me.
I have this beautiful Human in my life who tries to bring every possible happiness in my life and she’s my elder sister. She very cleverly tried explaining it to me that there is never really a finishing line, we can’t really declare that something was definitely good or bad. It is always unfolding.
Every decision, every event is always unfolding.
When I got the uncertain feelings about me, I allowed myself to feel the anger, disappointment, shame, judgment and sadness. I gave myself permission to feel anyway.Then, at some point, the time came for inner vigilance, for deliberately and consciously choosing between is it for good or bad?
It is critical to becoming conscious of your story and the meaning your mind wants to create, to allow yourself to feel the emotion that is present, and then to choose to commit to the hardcore inner work of remembering that you don’t really know what the outcome of any situation in your life will be.
But for now, we only have today. And so today, I wish you a day full of informed, genuine curiosity ONLY.
Diksha Sharma 